Chaos broke out in Westmere Crown Court yesterday as Brutus Kane, a man local police once described as “a walking health-and-safety violation”, was handed a maximum-security life sentence — and responded by losing his absolute mind in front of an entire courtroom.
Brutus, 6’6″, built like a vending machine with anger issues, was already strapped into heavy restraints after multiple “episodes” earlier in the trial, including allegedly attempting to head-butt a water cooler.
But yesterday’s outburst? Next level.
“THE SYSTEM FEARS ME!” He Roared
The moment the judge calmly delivered the life sentence, Brutus inhaled like he was charging up an anime attack and bellowed:
“YOU CAN’T CAGE A STORM, YOU PAPER-CLIP PEOPLE!”
He then attempted to stand up, completely forgetting that his wrists, ankles, and torso were locked tighter than a toddler’s iPad controls.
What followed was a furious, full-body flail that made him look like a malfunctioning inflatable tube man.
A bailiff described the noise as “a blend of metal creaking and pure regret.”
Court Staff Didn’t Know Whether To Help Or Run
Legal aides dove behind benches “for structural safety reasons,” while one witness said Brutus was “vibrating so hard I thought he was going to time-travel.”
The judge paused, pinched the bridge of his nose, and muttered:
“Mr. Kane… please stop attempting to suplex the chair.”
The Internet Is, Of Course, Losing It
The leaked courtroom clip hit socials within minutes and within hours had racked up nearly 10 million views. Comments include:
- “bro is fighting the final boss but he IS the final boss”
- “man tried to activate beast mode but the straps said nah”
- “why is this giving GTA cutscene energy??”
One user slowed the footage down and added dramatic WWE music. Another added subtitles like “internal screaming intensifies.”
Authorities Respond
Officials say Kane has been transferred to a zero-nonsense, maximum-security facility where, hopefully, everything is either bolted down or fire-proof.
Rumor has it the prison requested extra reinforced furniture… “just in case.”
